So, your wife wants space, and you don’t know what to do. Maybe to you it seems like that is irreconcilable with the fact that you two are married. After all, if you are married, you are supposed to live together, ever after, right? Maybe it came to you as a shock, but really it is not. It happens in so many marriages, to so many husband and wives. This doesn’t mean the end of your marriage. In fact, the fact that your wife asked for space means that your marriage will be built on more solid grounds.
The worst thing you can do about this right now is to attribute the fact that your wife wants space to a one-time thing, like a fight you two have recently had. Or to irrelevant things such as financial troubles upsetting her, etc. This is the time to act – not the time to juts close your eyes and pretending you aren’t seeing anything. This is the time to address the problem, not ignore it.
So, when your wife wants space the best thing to do first is to just listen to her what she means by that, and more importantly what has caused this wish to have more alone time. There is one thing you must keep in mind during this conversation. The purpose of this conversation is to thoroughly understand what your wife is going through. Its purpose is not to argue about everything to the point and to try to sort everything out and live happily even after. So, whatever she says she feels, never get defensive (or offensive) about anything. This conversation is for you to understand what your wife’s wish for space means.
Most of the time “your wife wants space” means that “your wife is feeling suffocated and wants some alone time”. Tell her you understand her, and you are more than willing to give her what she needs, but you do not believe you two should separate. Most of the time she will not be talking about (or even thinking about) a divorce. But if she does, tell her that it doesn’t make sense to just blindly divorce. Instead, tell her that you two should go for a trial separation, and if she likes the way her life is when she’s alone during this testing time, you can go ahead with the divorce.
But there is nothing to worry about – during a trial separation she will come to understand that she actually appreciated everything you gave her during the marriage. If she has no chance to miss you, she will have no chance to appreciate you; because it’s the lack of things that usually make us appreciate them. When your wife wants space this is a very important point to keep in mind.