Aged just five, it may have been the one heartbreaking moment that went on to shape tragic porn actress Sophie Anderson‘s life forever.
Born in Bristol, where her hardworking father owned several houses, she had been in a stereotypical middle class family together with her sister and mother.
But one day in 1992 her world came crashing down forever as the tight loving unit was torn apart.
Sophie’s mother announced she was leaving them and their home.
It upended their life and the model, who died on Monday aged 36, later declared she thought it was ‘because there were other men that were more appealing than me and my sister’.
The split caused absolute anguish for her, as she later admitted she had ‘worshipped her mother’.
Sophie Anderson had described movingly about the abuse she suffered from her own mother
Anderson’s big break came at the age of 29 in 2017, after she’d already had children, when she entered the world of online pornography
Sophie Anderson’s (left) death was announced on Monday by her friend Rebecca More (right)
Her wayward parent – who has since died – would come in and out of her life and cause what she described as ‘mental abuse’.
It was a far cry from her father, who Sophie said had done everything to support her and her sister as a single parent.
Then aged ten she was enrolled into a local drama school and had been tipped for great things. By now she was effectively bringing up her younger sister while her father worked around the clock to provide for them.
She described performing as ‘her salvation’ as she played different parts for her peers, impressing the grown-ups.
But her happiness would prove to be short-lived.
Her father had met a new partner and the family moved to Bradford-on-Avon in Wiltshire.
Sophie’s mother had managed to gain rights to see her at weekends and she would go and visit. She had so little money that her father would take food over with them as he dropped her off.
She said she realised something was wrong when she went once and there were a number of men at the property waiting. They were paedophiles.
Sophie said in 2022: ‘These guys used to really shame me for my weight. I was really overweight for a child.
Anderson died aged 34 just two weeks after the death of her footballer boyfriend Spedding
‘I would have these older men abuse me. I would have to watch my mum have sex. These guys would then fat-shame me.
‘I can remember bits and them touching me. It was never full sex, it was always touching or I would have to kiss them. She was in the bedroom.
‘I think that’s why I could never forgive my mum. You let these men. Now I feel guilty because I didn’t connect with her before she died of cancer.
‘My mum would then buy clothes for me that were way too small. She had anorexia.
‘There were little mental things she would do like get me in front of the mirror and say look at the state of you, you’re so fat and ugly.
‘I didn’t like her as a person growing up but then she died, so I have a lot of guilt there as well,’ she told James English’s Anything Goes podcast.
She said the illegal encounters led to her trying to find men to have sex with herself.
Using a computer she would contact lots of men and go out and get ‘a release’.
It was also around this time she developed anorexia so bad she would refuse to drink even a drop of water.
One day she fainted at school and was so serious she even tried to lose weight off her toes.
Anderson met former Crystal Palace player Spedding while working on the set of a porn film
Porn star Sophie Anderson is pictured with her boyfriend Oliver Spedding. Both have died
It was then she would start going to a pub in Bradford-on-Avon, where men would buy her cigarettes, alcohol and cannabis for sexual favours.
She added last year: ‘I started working in a massage parlour when I was 14. So while I was trying to act and see women outside and get f***** by men, I was then in a massage parlour and getting paid.
‘The massage parlour at that time didn’t ID you, it was only when they started to get tight that it was [we need] your ID, so I didn’t really do it that much, so I used my money basically for drink and all that.
‘When [my son] was born, we were in and out of hostels. I didn’t have any food then or anything.’
Her long history of eating disorders were overcome temporarily for her first pregnancy and she said it was ‘the one time I didn’t feel guilty about putting on weight’ – eating salmon and other nutritious food to help her baby thrive.
Breaking down in tears, she said: ‘It’s not even my story that’s making me upset. It’s literally because if I knew that anyone had to go through anything or any kind of abuse with being hit or being mentally abused, or anything like that, that is what kills, you know.’
Anderson’s big break came at the age of 29 in 2017, after she’d already had children, when she entered the world of online pornography. She set up a humorous partnership, ‘the c*** destroyers’ with fellow porn star Rebecca More.
She quickly gained thousands of followers and became one of a handful of adult models to become famous in the mainstream.
Anderson’s obvious warmth in interviews and social media posts, as well as her advocacy for HIV and LGBTQ+ charities, meant she was much loved by fans and other celebrities.
Anderson, who lived in Slough, Berkshire, met former Palace academy player Oliver Spedding on a porn set nearly four years ago and the pair embarked on a relationship.
Spedding told a castmate he couldn’t stop thinking about Sophie after the scene was over and called her his ‘soulmate’.
In March 2021, Anderson suffered one of her biggest career mishaps when her breast implant exploded in the shower after a fourth sepsis infection, leaving her fearful her career was over.
In an interview with The Star, she said: ‘The most important thing is the NHS saved my life. Doctors told me I am lucky and I could have died. I still feel totally lost and I just want to be OK. I have to stay strong for my family.’
She was later underwent major reconstructive surgery.
But she was left deeply unhappy with the results, describing her reconstructed breast as looking like ‘Bigfoot’s foot’ in a separate video, where she also revealed she was in hospital fighting sepsis.
Speaking about the ordeal, she described Spedding as her ‘rock’ and praised him for helping her get through her ‘darkest days’. He died just weeks ago, with no cause of death disclosed.
Anderson’s former co-star Rebecca More, whose real name is Rebecca Jones and who is also a mother-of-four, announced her death on Instagram on Monday night.
More wrote: ‘I’m devastated hearing the awful news of Sophie’s passing. We shared some amazing times together and that’s how I’m going to remember her.
‘The bubbly, funny, kind hearted soul who was outrageous on the outside but also so gentle behind closed doors. We were very close, and we shared a crazy time together that was totally unique to us.
‘That’s how I will remember her. This is so tragic but I know you are now at peace. I will always love you and hold a special place in my heart.’
Anderson’s last Instagram post, posted three weeks ago, was a selfie with the caption: ‘You come home to the wife after a hard days work’.
Her last post with boyfriend Spedding, in August, plugged an adult competition show the couple entered.
‘Please watch through their website and vote for us,’ Anderson said.
‘Your love and support we appreciate so much.’
Meanwhile Spedding’s was a Halloween themed video featuring Anderson.