Perhaps one lesson that Sima Taparia can learn from the first season of Indian Matchmaking is to not ask her clients to ‘adjust’ and ‘compromise’. The times have changed and gone are the days when arranged marriages were the only option for those who wished to get married.
When Indian Matchmaking premiered on Netflix back in 2020 during the lockdown, it became the ultimate cringe-binge for not just millennials but people across all age groups. Literally, everyone had an opinion on Sima Aunty’s views on arranged marriage and what it takes to find a good partner. Sima Aunty (or Sima from Mumbai, as per her famous introduction which went viral on social media) was criticised left, right and center for repeatedly asking her clients to ‘adjust’ and ‘compromise’ as they set out on their journey to find their life partner. “When the flight is late, we sit in the airport. We have patience and adjust, and we sit quietly,” she said. Needless to say, Sima Aunty drawing a comparison between airport flights (which last for only a few hours) to marriage (a decision that is life-changing and has serious ramifications on the physical and psychological well-being of a person) isn’t fair. While one can always choose to not book flights with an airline that makes them wait for hours, the same is not true when it comes to choosing a life partner. Then why should one adjust? Why should one lower one’s standards and compromise on their basic requirements? These were some of the many pertinent questions that critics of Indian Matchmaking raised. While Netflix’s modern take on arranged marriages is worthy of appreciation and a breath of fresh air, given how rampant ghosting and catfishing are in the digital age, it also shows just problematic and shallow arranged marriages can be.
While it does offer a fresh, unique and a never-seen-before take on arranged marriages, it also shows how problematic they can be. It shows how arranged marriages are not a happily-ever-after or a ‘match made in heaven’, but often transactions where one party tries to gain something from their partner (either money or social status) by offering them something in return. It is the transactional nature of these arranged marriages that often leads to their downfall. Perhaps one lesson that Sima Aunty can learn from the first season of Indian Matchmaking is to not ask her clients to ‘adjust’ and ‘compromise’ and thus lower their standards to better suit the needs of their partners. The times have changed and gone are the days when arranged marriages were the only option for those who wished to get married. With Tinder, Bumble and a plethora of dating apps at their disposal, the Gen-Z is no longer relying on their parents to set them up with their partners. It is also likely that they will, in all likelihood, find someone who appreciates them for who they are and they might not have to ‘adjust’ or ‘compromise’.
Casteism, Colourism and Racism
Indian Matchmaking (and Sima, in particular) was massively criticised for not just her views on arranged marriage but also her controversial takes on what one should look for in their partner. ‘The boy is good, handsome and tall’, says Sima Aunty to one of her prospective clients. . In the first episode, we see her go through her client database, listing off the qualities in partners that people are asking for. “They want tall. They want fair. They want from a good family,” she says. In the very last episode of the season, a new client in San Diego, Richa, includes “not too dark, you know, fair-skinned,” in a list of preferences for her future partner that also include being funny, extraverted, and okay with the fact that she eats a lot of eggs, as per a TIME magazine report. Throughout the show, Sima Aunty is seen implying, not even subtly, that the complexion of their clients, their social status, religion and even caste decides their prospective matches. The problematic part is that Sima, unapologetically and unabashedly shared the problematic and downright bigoted requirements of her clients with their prospective matches. The viewers, as a result, couldn’t help but wonder if Sima, the show and therefore Netflix endorses such problematic views.
The casteism and colourism in the show wasn’t even subtle. It was like an unspoken, unwritten but mutually agreed upon code-of-conduct between Sima and her clients and literally no one, at any point in the show, called it out. Now that the show has been renewed for the second season, another lesson Sima Aunty can learn is to not be as problematic and bigoted with her views on marriage. Not just Sima Aunty but some of her clients, too, need to catch up with the times and modern-day syntax and understand that we aren’t living in the 90s anymore. The kids and the present generation are more woke, progressive and accepting of people from diverse cultures and backgrounds.
Can we really blame Sima Taparia?
Sure, she is problematic. She, on more than one occasion, asks her clients to lower their standards and accept what comes their way. However, can we really blame her? To play the devil’s advocate, we need to understand that just like her clients and the society, Sima Aunty, too, is a victim of patriarchy. Even if she tries to challenge the notions of her clients and tells them to not go for the quintessential ‘tall, fair-skinned, six figure income’ matches, at the end of the day, these are the traits that each one of her clients is seeking. While she can challenge their views and urge them to look for other traits in their partners, it might not always work in her favour.
Needless to say, while we hold Sima Aunty, her clients and Netflix accountable for their problematic views on arranged marriages and colourism, we must also hold the people around us, our own parents and friends accountable and urge them to think better and make better choices. Sure, Sima Aunty can learn several lessons for the first season of Indian Matchmaking. However, it is imperative that all of us let go of our inhibitions and also learn a thing or two on how we can work towards challenging the problematic views of those around us.
Deepansh Duggal is an entertainment, pop-culture and trends writer based in New Delhi. He specializes in op-eds based on the socio-political and gender issues in the world of entertainment and showbiz. He also writes explainers and occasionally reviews shows in the OTT space. He tweets at @Deepansh75.
Read all the Latest News, Trending News, Cricket News, Bollywood News, India News and Entertainment News here. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.