A lady of viral video fame has suggested corruption as the reason for the Millennial City’s waterlogging woes after torrential monsoon rains choked its streets, and in some instances, homes. Standing knee-deep in a well-to-do residence’s sand-bunkered gate, she argues convincingly about how 21st century India’s unintended answer to Venice, celebrated in black humour internet memes with captions like ‘Udyog Vihar Lake’ where roads were intended, is a shame compared to the Indus Valley civilisation’s Harappa and Mohenjo-daro famous for their drainage system.
Even as a non-archaeologist, I dig this Indus Valley metaphor.
The said lady blames it all on unmindful engineers in a culture of corruption, but doesn’t answer the question as to why only drains are choked by corruption. As if to say that those flush with slush money, with or without monsoon mud, use only drainage to feather their nests comfortably above sea level.
It falls short of the whole truth about the lack of a monsoon infrastructure in Gurugram. I propose a modification and further explanation of her hypothesis. It is all about psychology and politics.
You can zip on a highway in a fancy SUV and pose for selfies at roadside dhabas, displaying vehicle, spouse, food, or all. But imagine doing the same around drainage pipes. Who wants utility and convenience when aesthetics and vanity will do fine?After all, NCR’s Lifestyle Destination is the Gram. As the deserving inheritor of Delhi’s road rage slogan, ‘Tu nahin jaanta mai kaun hoon!’ Gurugram is the natural heir to a parental South Delhi culture that carries self-esteem a tad too far to care about small things like efficient drainage systems.The government has been inaugurating eight-lane expressways by the tonne and new-age trains by the kilo. But which politician will green flag a drain, or cut a ribbon at a sewage system inauguration? Drains are useful, but they make publicity nullah and void.
Can you imagine a national drainage authority of India issuing tax-free bonds and proudly advertising the building of miles and miles of underground carriers of mud, garbage and waste? No?
Exactly. Drainages are distinctly unglamorous ventures as political and corporate vanity go. In a democracy where photo-ops and handouts fetch more votes, who wants an underground asset that keeps cities clean and commuting easy?
So, you have to contend with the idea of Harappan drainage in the city that houses the Indian HQs of Google and Microsoft as a pipe dream.
If you must fancy drainpipes that can be proudly displayed, try wearing the eponymous blue jeans variety that belongs in the rock ‘n’ roll ’60s.
Meanwhile, dark-humoured Instagram videos are the perfect short-term succour for waterlogged taxpayers suffering from instant floods, assuming cell towers and fibre optic lines are not hampered by floods. Hope floats.