Conformity and stress – The Economic Times

If we live our lives always sticking to some kind of conservative rhythm involving customs, tradition and culture or our own impossibly high standards, it makes us stressed because we are constantly conforming. If we don’t conform, we feel we will get into trouble, we will be labelled a troublemaker. We get a lot of headaches this way.

Of course, we need some structure. Even in Buddhist teaching, there is structure and form to help us along the way, something to lean on. But we also believe in encouraging people to free the structures within themselves to reduce stress and misunderstanding. When we try to be or act in a certain way all of the time, this makes us feel very nervous. You may cover it up well and appear fine on the outside, but inside you feel like you are in knots, or that you are trapped.

This is because you have a rigid structure inside; we put ourselves in a kind of box and then suffer from a lot of stress, always trying to live up to our own rules and standards. We think things, other people or even ourselves have to be a certain way, and if they are not quite right, we become agitated.

We are too attached to an idea of perfection, fed by our hopes and fears; after all, how can anything in the world be perfect? It is totally subjective. Nothing is perfect, and nothing is wrong. We should just try our best. As the Buddha says, ‘Let go of winning and losing, and find joy.’