If you begin to carve a statue out of a stone, what self-identity is the stone losing? None; rather, it is developing a new identity that will be witnessed and appreciated by many people. Similarly, in spiritual life there is no loss of self-identity; rather, the distorted perceptions are corrected, the aggressive ego expressions are redefined, the new wiser you, the new creative you, becomes the new identity.
As long as you maintain the idea that this identity is continually transforming and changing and there is no fixed status, no fixed form, you can overcome asmita or ahamkara. However, the moment you fix yourself in a new identity, it will again become distorted.
Do not be fixed in one perception; learn to accept and allow the change to happen. The aim is to overcome the asmita, the ego, and become established in a state of bliss, as it is at that level of anand, that the spiritual experiences are transformed into transcendental experiences.